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| A SINGER OF SOME NOTE |
The media - both social and ..er.. antisocial (?) has been full of unkind comments about UK X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos, after her admission on Saturday night's show that she had never heard the Aretha Franklin song 'Think', as performed on the programme by pink-haired Amelia Lily.
This is a little unjust. She is, as she pointed out whilst defending herself on Twitter, only 23. She knows certain old songs which her parents played in the home she grew up in, but this wasn't one of them. Fair enough I say. Clearly she's a decent sort of girl, otherwise she wouldn't let that inbred farm boy with the funny hat tag along with her band, thus avoiding the need to put him in a home.
People are obviously labouring under the illusion that a knowledge of classic artists and quality music is a pre-requisite for the role of judge on this show, which it plainly isn't. Leave aside the fact that a quick, painful listen to an N-Dubz album would reveal few signs of her ever making even a passing acquaintance with anything as uncool as a melody. She, like her fellow judges present and past, is there for other reasons.
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| TULISA |
In Tulisa's case there was a vacancy for a pretty young female following the departure of the fragile beauty that is Cheryl Cole: the perceived 'edge' of her group helping to spread the show's appeal to their demographic - kids in tracksuits who generously play music for everyone on the bus via their phones, rather than selfishly use headphones. Each of the other judges fulfill a specific purpose (yes - even Louis Walsh).
The point here is that The X Factor isn't a music show, it's a money show. Every decision made by the Svengali/Davros figure Simon Cowell is based on maximising ratings, and therefore revenue. By the same token, Cowell and most of the others involved are not music people, despite the hit records they could no doubt list ad nauseum.
There is plenty of evidence to support this. The marvelous Danny Baker recounts the tale of being on a radio show with Walsh (pre - X Factor days). Danny thought it pretty safe ground whilst chatting to a prominent Irish music business figure to mention the great Van Morrison. The Boyzone and Westlife manager was at a loss to place the name until eventually coming up with "Oh, the 'Brown Eyed Girl' guy?"
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| Courtesy of b3ta user benito vaselini (8333) |
Cowell himself frequently shows his lack of appreciation of any musical heritage. He has been guilty of unwarranted reverence towards third-rate acts from the 80s/90s such as Backstreet Boys and Boyz II Men (he probably thinks their album of Motown covers contains the definitive versions of The Tracks of My Tears and Mercy Mercy Me, or more likely they are only versions he has heard). Ask him to name more than one Bob Dylan or Stevie Wonder tune and he would likely be found wanting, Alan Partridge style ("Favourite Beatles album? That would be...The Best of The Beatles!"). His true love, and indisputable ability, lies not in music but in marketing products that a large number of people will buy, creating enormous wealth for himself and his companies, but perhaps much, much less for the desperate hopefuls on his show who sign the only contract they will ever be offered, without the representation of a sharp-eyed music industry lawyer.
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| GARY BARLOW |
In the latest UK series, Cowell's judging seat has been taken by Take That's Eagle-Eyed Action Man, Gary Barlow. He is presented as a real music man, a sort of younger Paul McCartney, and uses baffling insider terms like semitone and tempo. The reality is he comes from a boy band, and only stands out from all of the other boy band boys because he can play piano and write what can loosely be termed a song. Barlow is no nearer to being Macca than Richard Stilgoe, and hardly more qualified to tell some scouse teenager that they made 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' their own (ugh!) than the departed Dannii Minogue was.
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